No matter what I come up with for Ron to say, it's not nearly as funny as what Ron actually says. I swear, it must be like trying to carry on a conversation with Ralph Wiggum.

Hedo: Wow, did you see the girl in the front row?

Ron:  Jesus wore sandals, lived apples and bananas.

Hedo: Uh, so how are things going for you these days, Ron?

Ron:  They were trying to get me like government cheese, but I'm Kraft.

As a King's fan I don't know if I can deal with Ron here in the long term. As a blogger I hope he never leaves.

and that's how they do their ventriloquism act.

Ron: "There's Fried cheese, welfare cheese, gumbo cheese...

Hedo: I got shot in the Buh-tocks. Wanna see?

Ron: Hey wanna trade teams ?
Hedo: Will I get kraft cheese ?

First, this needs to be bumped to the front page.  AWESOME idea.  There are too amyn clever people here that might miss this in a diary.  I even like this as a revolving idea.

Second, thanks for playing in to my hand.  The hardest part is picking my favorite quote/conversation idea.  I've re-written this at least ten times.

Third, I love McCovey Chronicals, so knowing this was built off its platform makes me happy.  Probably too happy.

Fourth, I'll shut the eff up and give you my version of the conversation:

Ron - "HAY-dooooooo"
Hedo - "uh, Hi Ron.  Good...good luck tonight."
Ron - Pppppfffftttt (big fart) "Eat my kraft!"
Hedo - "I live in Florida, the state of old-people flatulence.  Nice try."
Ron - "When in Rome..."

Hahahaha!

Ron: So, I'm Kraft. Tony Parker... He's Brie. Jason Williams is Monterey Jack, 'cause he's white and likes to jack-up thre...
Hedo: Hey Ron! What cheese am I?
Ron: Hedo! Dang Bro, you smell. You must be Limburger. Let's see, AI was Cream Cheese when he was in Philly. Now he's in Denver so he's Goat cheese I guess. Arenas is Cheese Wiz.
Hedo: What about Martin?
Ron:Oh, Kmart, Douby and Hawes are all pulls off the same String Cheese. F*ing skinny dudes.
Hedo: What about LeBron?
Ron: LeBron is the king of cheeses. He's Velveeta. It melts so nice.
Hedo: Someday I'll be velveeta.

Ron: Smell my finger.
Hedo: Thomms orr not Fangors, Ron.
Ron:  M*****er, I said smell my fing...
Hedo: Dancer #3, an hour ago.
Ron: What how'd you-
Hedo: Dancer #5, two days ago.
Ron: Amazin!

Hedo: Hey Ron, what up with that Mikki Moore guy dropping all the passes?

Ron: I know! My right thumb can catch passes better than his two hands! From what I've been reading, his nickname on the blogs is lobster claws! Petrie thought he was getting good shellfish, but it ended up being imitation crab!